Before you give me the side eye hear me out. In the days of the Millennial Mom, where women who were born between 1980 -2000 have the most college degrees than any other generation, they were raised not only during the tech boom but also during the era of Oprah, smart phones are daily necessities and uber eats is really a thing, there are still a lot of women that feel they have to be domestic in order to measure up. These amazing smart women still rush home after 8-10 hours of work, pick up the kids from school; go over home work; run around the house trying to clean up; run to the grocery store and then come home to make dinner. It’s tiresome just thinking about it.
And if you are one of these women who feel that you have to do it all, I’m here to tell you that this ideology is for the birds.
Have you had one of those weeks or weekends where you had a ton of tasks on your to do list that seem to be more productive or intellectually stimulating than doing laundry, cleaning the house or grocery shopping, yet you find yourself still having to do the laundry, clean the house and go grocery shopping. And you're left feeling like you didn't accomplish anything. You’ve had to ask yourself what am I doing wrong? Why is it I don’t have enough hours in a day to get things done? Even if you’re a stay at home mom you can relate to the fact that some domestic duties can be written off at times because you need or want to be more productive or more present in your family’s lives. Wearing that “S” on your chest does not mean drain yourself out with tasks that can be done by a 10 year old (that just gave me an idea lol). That “S” nowadays stands for working smarter not harder, especially if you’re working a 9-5, or you're a mompreneur, or you’re going to school full or part time. We have to learn how to make the most of the 24 hours we are given everyday. You know the meme “you have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé”? Do you really think Beyoncé has a ton of house chores on her to do list? Nah! I seriously doubt she has any and for good reason. She has more important things to do and I’m sure you do too. I know I do, and yes at times I struggle with the idea of not doing household chores everyday especially being a entrepreneur and having my own schedule and being able to spend a significant amount of my time at home. However I need that time to focus on what I have to do to contribute to creating a better life for my family. And sometimes I feel that, I’m the mom and I should do this chore or that chore because "I’m the mom" and that is a bunch of nonsense. Today the role of being a mom is much more progressive and we need to embrace it. This patriarchal society says to us if you want to be earners, educated, entrepreneurs, CEO's you still have to handle the domestics in your household like your mother did fifty years ago. And on top of that we’re expected to be sexy 24-7. (Tuh) I don’t know about you but I feel like something has to give. Yes we’re magical goddess warriors who bare children and nurture them in a way most men could not live up to on their best day, but we also have to eliminate unrealistic standards that have been set for us by society. And just think during the generations before us it wouldn't even be thought of to have a father who's worked 8-10 hours a day to come home, pick up the kids from school, do laundry or any other chore for that matter. However it has been automatically assumed that women, mothers who has joined the work force have to do it all, business, domestics and extra curricular activities.
If I’m going to be an entrepreneur, business women, CEO, a student on top of being a hands on mother I can not afford to burden my life with domestic chores when there’s laundry services that will pick up your clothes and drop them off or you can drop your clothes off and pick them up; you have instacart that goes grocery shopping for you and will text you while shopping if something is out of stock with other options. Your local grocery store might even offer a delivery or pickup service as well, research it just in case you may have to take advantage of that option on a busy week. You also have meal kit delivery services like Blue Apron and Purple Carrot that bring fresh ingredients to your door step. The meals are planned out and are ready to be cooked. And lastly home cleaning services are heaven sent. And if you're worried about cost Groupon has options galore for discounted home cleaning services. If you have a toddler who’s sole purpose at this phase of his or her young life is to make a mess in every single room they step foot in, there’s no way you can have a "Pinterest" house at all times. I used to beat myself up about my home not looking perfect every single day by the time my son got home from school only for it to turn into a zoo within an hour after I cleaned it. Then one day when I was pregnant with my daughter my husband said to me (while I'm on the floor literally scrubbing it clean) why are you making life harder on yourself cleaning up all the time, hire someone to clean the house. And let me tell you I never looked back! Do I still clean, cook and do laundry? Of course but within reason. If I know I’m going to have a busy week I’m out sourcing everything, laundry, cleaning, and grocery shopping. And the time that I save is priceless. I do cook and pack lunch because it’s the best and healthiest option for me and my family. It’s also something I want to do. And I’m sure there are things you may want to do for your family as well. However I need all Mamas to understand, all of these services mentioned can put your mind at ease and allow you to be more productive in whatever it is you prefer to put your time and energy into for a small convenience fee. Who wants to be overwhelmed trying to do all of these chores, work and go to dance class or basketball games, not me! I have to say this one more time the game is to work smarter not harder.
Side Bar: This is really self care 101 Mamas! Putting ourselves first means mentally, emotions and physically. And no one is going to take care of you better than you. So we need to re-evaluate what's important and how to maneuver through life, business and motherhood without pushing ourselves too close to the edge. Its not easy and yes we make it look good but life is sweet and sometimes I think we miss out because we've been navigating through life being strong when the goal is to be smarter and efficient.
Disclaimer: I am not trying to stir the pot in anyone's household, this is for thought provoking purposes only ; )
Love & Light,